Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
