Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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