I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
How naked do you want me to be?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
