we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You are the jesus of drinking
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
