WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
BRING THE BAGELS
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
