so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
