there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
