i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
