im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
