he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
