Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
