if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Houston, we have a squirter
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I need to calm my uterus...
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Randomize
