I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
