i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
