the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
