Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
