brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
