Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
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