I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize