I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I have aggressive nipples.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
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