i permit you to call me
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
