ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
