Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
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