Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
