PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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