I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
