bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
my being single is dangerous.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize