dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
