I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Randomize
