I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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