i think my tv is drunk
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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