Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
wow bdsm is so cute
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
