Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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