No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
