we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
