If i could tip my vagina, i would.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
