Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
