how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You may now shotgun with the bride
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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