Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize