His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
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