My friends, they love my intelligence
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Randomize
