turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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