Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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