I am puke
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Randomize
