I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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