I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
