i may or may not be watching the land before time
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
