Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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