Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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