will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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