He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I want her autograph on my taint
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Randomize
