Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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