ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
