we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Church boner. Awkwardddd
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
