Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
So many bounce houses so little time
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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