i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
