What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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