I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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