So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
