I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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